is a talk show host appearing weekly on Northern New Jersey's WP88.7 FM. He is the host of THE READING CIRCLE with Marc Medley which is aired every Saturday morning from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. It can be heard worldwide by webstreaming www.gobrave.org. The program is solely dedicated to increasing and enhancing listener's interest in reading. During the show, listeners experience the best in autobiographies, biographies, self-help books, and literary classics. In many instances authors are interviewed live on the air. If you are an author who is interested in appearing on THE READING CIRCLE w/Marc Medley, email thereadingcircle01@yahoo.com. Visit my website at marcamedley.com
The philosopher John Stuart Mill said that to understand an issue it is necessary to learn the arguments on both sides equally well. His statement gets to the heart of the issue that there are two sides to every story and to truly make an informed judgment requires knowledge of all points of view. I start this extremely short post with John Stuart Mill's quote to ask a critical thinking question and that question will be it for this post. Isn't it amazing how so much gossip is started with folks only knowing one side of a story? Rumors are spread; stories are told; and conversations are held with the parties knowing only one sideof the story. Something to critically think about. I welcome your commentary in the comment section of the blog and feel free to follow The Critical Thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.
When you think of child abuse, what immediately comes to
your mind? For each one reading this post I am sure a different scenario or act
popped into your mind. This is because there are so many different forms of
child abuse that very few outside of the obvious acts of child abuse are
discussed or thought about. The purpose of this Critical Thinker post is to
make us aware of one form of child abuse that is rarely heard of yet is extremely
common. In fact, it is so common that it flies under the radar for most of us
and is in many cases unrecognized by the courts in separation or divorce cases.
To the frustration of many, the fact that the court may not recognize this form
of abuse does not mean that it does not exist. Psychologists and therapists term
this form of abuse as Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS. Parental Alienation Syndrome
(PAS) is what Dr. Richard A. Warshak describes as a systematic process of psychological
manipulation in his book Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond From a Vindictive Ex., one of two books that I found fascinating and informative about
PAS with the other being Brainwashing Children: Exposing and Combating the Most Common Form of Child Abuse by John T. Steinbeck.
Both
Warshak and Steinbeck unpack for the reader the definition of PAS along with
the ugly and dangerous impacts of being a child or children subjected to PAS.
Both also describe in great detail the roles of each person who engages and who
is affected by this very common form of child abuse. According to Wikipedia the
free encyclopedia Parental
Alienation Syndromeis term
coined byRichard A. Gardnerin the
early 1980s to refer to what he describes as a disorder in which a child, on an
ongoing basis, belittles and insults one parent without justification, due to a
combination of factors, including indoctrination by the other parent and the
child's own attempts to denigrate the target parent.Gardner introduced the term in a 1985 paper, describing a cluster
of symptoms he had observed during the early 1980s.According
to Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children's
Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and
Human Services, each State provides its own definitions
of child abuse and neglect based on minimum standards set by Federal law. While
PAS is still being debated as to whether it is a syndrome or psychological disorder,
one cannot dismiss the facts after reading the major types of abuse and neglect
below (see below) that the tenets of PAS intersect many of the major types
defined.
According
to Mr. Steinbeck in his book Brainwashing Children, children that are kept away
from a parent without just cause or reason are more likely to:
Use
and abuse alcohol or drugs
Drop out of school prior to graduation
Get bad grades
Be incarcerated at some time in their life
Run away from home
Attempt suicide
Be diagnosed with depression
Have anxiety disorders
Have difficulties in their own relationships when they mature
Struggle with friendships and interpersonal interactions
Not trust people
Not have a good relationship with either parent
Not have healthy romantic relationships
Have issues of self-doubt
Become pregnant as teenager
Have anger issues
Lack of self-esteem
Difficulties in trusting his or her own perceptions
Lying behaviors
Physical aggression
Other social problems
He
goes on to say that each child will react differently, but they will be
affected in ways that are harmful to their emotional and behavioral
development.
Sadly
for the children, the parent who is initiating or engaging in PAS behavior is usually in
denial that he/she has any part in the creation of an alienating environment by
partaking in any of the following activities that include but are not limited
to:
Bad-Mouthing
Bashing
Brainwashing
Isolating
Instilling fear
Encroachment
Selective Memory
Dr.
Warshak states in his book Divorce Poison that parents are not the only targets
of bad-mouthing, bashing, and brainwashing. According to Dr. Warshak,
grandparents, and sometimes an entire extended family, receive the same
treatment. He further states that this problem cuts across gender lines. Women
and men in their roles as parents, stepparents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents
are all vulnerable. And, in ALL cases, the children suffer, hence the reason for this blog post – children are
suffering and being abused as a result of the behavior of the adults they are
supposed to trust most in their lives.
Until
reading this post, you may not have been made aware of PAS (hence another
reason for this blog post), however, as a result of reading this post, I
encourage you to look out for the signs of PAS in children whose parents have separated
or divorced. I encourage you to read Dr. Warshak’s and John T. Steinbeck’s
books referenced in this post to make yourself even more aware of what too many
of our children and adults for that matter are dealing with in their daily
lives. I found both books to be extremely helpful to me and thought I would
share them with you in this post. PAS is something to definitely critically think
about. I look forward to reading your thoughts in the commentary section of the
blog. You can follow the critical thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.
How Is Child Abuse and Neglect
Defined in Federal Law?Federal
legislation lays the groundwork for States by identifying a minimum set of acts
or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect. The Federal Child Abuse
Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), (42 U.S.C.A. §5106g), as amended by the
Keeping Children and Families Safe Act of 2003, defines child abuse and neglect
as, at minimum:
Any recent act or failure to
act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious
physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or
An act or failure to act which
presents an imminent risk of serious harm.
Most
Federal and State child protection laws primarily refer to cases of harm to a
child caused by parents or other caregivers; they generally do not include harm
caused by other people, such as acquaintances or strangers.What Are the Major Types of Child
Abuse and Neglect?Within
the minimum standards set by CAPTA, each State is responsible for providing its
own definitions of child abuse and neglect.1 Most
States recognize four major types of maltreatment: physical abuse, neglect,
sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Although any of the forms of child
maltreatment may be found separately, they often occur in combination. In many
States, abandonment and parental substance abuse are also defined as forms of
child abuse or neglect.The
examples provided below are for general informational purposes only. Not all
States' definitions will include all of the examples listed below, and
individual States' definitions may cover additional situations not mentioned
here.Physical
abuse is non-accidental physical
injury (ranging from minor bruises to severe fractures or death) as a result of
punching, beating, kicking, biting, shaking, throwing, stabbing, choking,
hitting (with a hand, stick, strap, or other object), burning, or otherwise
harming a child, that is inflicted by a parent, caregiver, or other person who
has responsibility for the child.2 Such
injury is considered abuse regardless of whether the caregiver intended to hurt
the child. Physical discipline, such as spanking or paddling, is not considered
abuse as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child. Neglect is the failure of a parent, guardian, or other
caregiver to provide for a child's basic needs. Neglect may be:
Physical (e.g., failure to
provide necessary food or shelter, or lack of appropriate supervision)
Medical (e.g., failure to
provide necessary medical or mental health treatment)3
Educational (e.g., failure to
educate a child or attend to special education needs)
Emotional (e.g., inattention to
a child's emotional needs, failure to provide psychological care, or
permitting the child to use alcohol or other drugs)
These
situations do not always mean a child is neglected. Sometimes cultural values,
the standards of care in the community, and poverty may be contributing
factors, indicating the family is in need of information or assistance. When a
family fails to use information and resources, and the child's health or safety
is at risk, then child welfare intervention may be required. In addition, many
States provide an exception to the definition of neglect for parents who choose
not to seek medical care for their children due to religious beliefs that may
prohibit medical intervention.4Sexual
abuse includes activities by a
parent or caregiver such as fondling a child's genitals, penetration, incest,
rape, sodomy, indecent exposure, and exploitation through prostitution or the
production of pornographic materials. Sexual
abuse is defined by CAPTA as "the
employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child
to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit
conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual
depiction of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases of caretaker or
inter-familial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or
other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children." Emotional
abuse (or psychological abuse) is a
pattern of behavior that impairs a child's emotional development or sense of
self-worth. This may include constant criticism, threats, or rejection, as well
as withholding love, support, or guidance. Emotional abuse is often difficult
to prove and, therefore, child protective services may not be able to intervene
without evidence of harm or mental injury to the child. Emotional abuse is
almost always present when other forms are identified. Abandonment is now defined in many States as a form of neglect. In
general, a child is considered to be abandoned when the parent's identity or
whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left alone in circumstances where
the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact
with the child or provide reasonable support for a specified period of time. Substance
abuse is an element of the
definition of child abuse or neglect in many States.5 Circumstances
that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:
Prenatal exposure of a child to
harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance
Manufacture of methamphetamine
in the presence of a child
Selling, distributing, or
giving illegal drugs or alcohol to a child
Use of a controlled substance
by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for
the child
ResourcesChild
Maltreatment 2006www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/index.htm
This report summarizes child abuse statistics submitted by States to the
National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) during 2006. It includes
information about child maltreatment reports, victims, fatalities,
perpetrators, services, and additional research.
Resources on the Child Welfare
Information Gateway WebsiteChild
Abuse and Neglect www.childwelfare.gov/can
Many
of the posts for the Critical Thinker are sparked by observations I make as I
am going about my day-to-day business as is the case for the post I am writing
right now. I was driving on Saturday when I noticed a group of teenagers making
yet another shrine with the letters R.I.P. written in spray paint or Sharpie Ink
on the sheet with a space at the bottom reserved for the placement of candles.
Unfortunately this is becoming or some may even say has become symbolic of the
ghetto or hood. It’s just life and in these cases “death” in the hood. No big
deal, just another one gone. Upon my return home I posted on Twitter that maybe
if the person now being memorialized had L.I.P. (Lived in Peace) that we would
not have the need to now be writing on a sheet R.I.P. In a prior post titled “Bang! Bang! You’re Dead (see August 1, 2012 post) I addressed where the gun violence issue begins (another observation while
out shopping at Walmart) and in this instance we see where it all
ends; a young person in the grave with the rest of his/her peers hanging up a
sheet or wearing a t-shirt with R.I.P. inscribed on it. I encourage you to read
the Bang! Bang! You’re Dead post to put this one in perspective; I guess this could be considered a continuation, sequel or part II.
Since this is a radio ad, there are no visuals like in a television ad, however, if I were to use my imagination for a T.V. ad, I could see where a R.I.P sheet and candle shrine would be in
the ad for four year old Mark. The questions
I have for us in this post are........ Are we ever going to get tired of seeing these
sheets with R.I.P inscribed with candles burning underneath? And if we are,
what are we going to do? Are we ever going to realize that it is not cute nor
honorable to find oneself on either end may it be the grave or the ones hanging
the sheet? Are we ever going to do anything beyond talk and write? Are our parents
going to step up and be parents and teach their children about the deadly
dangers of guns and keep their children away from them? Are our parents ever
going to teach their children the value of life and that people do not get up
again after being shot like in a video game or movie? It’s great to be able to
catch the bad guy but even greater to stop the bad guy from becoming a bad guy
to begin with. My head continues to shake as the kids can say SMH (Shaking My
Head) as I listen to ads such as COBA’s and literally watch sheets being hung alongside
fences and walls with little candles being placed under them. I agree with four year old Mark in the ad “We've got to stop gun violence in this city." As
always I welcome your commentary in the comment section and you can also follow
The Critical Thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.
While
traveling on vacation, I was awakened on Friday morning, July 20th by
television news reports detailing a horrific shooting that had occurred during
the wee hours of that same morning in a theatre in Colorado. In fact, that
story would galvanize the various news channels for the entire day and for the
rest of the weekend. It was the top story on Meet the Press that Sunday morning
and even for the next few days all that I could hear about was the massacre
resulting from an alleged shooter who would come to be identified as James
Holmes, a student in the neurosciences
programat the University
of Colorado.
After learning more of the details, my first reaction was that
Mr. Holmes needs to be locked in a theatre while someone throws some type of gas or explosive device,
and start shooting at him, but that’s not our way in the United States; like
Sophia Petrillo of the Golden Girls, I digress. My
purpose for writing this post is not to determine what should happen to Mr.
Holmes, but it was sparked by my visit to Walmart on yesterday where I shared
the aisle with a father whose toddler son was sitting in his shopping cart
holding a toy gun. The toddler boy was playing with the gun that was still in
the cardboard packaging and saying the words “daddy,”“gun,” and “shoot.” As I listened to
this toddler say these words so clearly, the thought came to me that this is
where it all starts. Now some of you reading this may be asking yourselves the
question, “This is where what starts?” Well let’s take a look at the following headlines
appearing over the last couple of days at myfoxny.com:
• 2
killed, 7 others wounded in shootings overnight• Man
shot, killed by bicyclist in Austin• Gang
member pulls loaded gun at North Side soccer game• At
least 15 wounded in shootings this weekend• Former
CPS basketball star fatally shot defending friend• Gas
station clerk killed in robbery attempt• Young
teen shot in Englewood• Two
men found shot in the head in South Deering• Five
wounded, sought shelter on CTA bus during shooting at 79th and Jeffery
After witnessing the toddler holding the toy
gun in Walmart and hearing his words, it came to me that we are just not getting it. This father was buying the toy gun for the toddler who could not have been any more than two or three years of age. The toy
manufacturers are still making toy guns. The stores are still selling toy guns.
The gun manufacturers are still producing guns and we are still buying guns.
The National Rifle Association (NRA) who says on its website that they are widely recognized today as a major political force and as
America's foremost defender of Second Amendment rights is stronger than ever and the homicide rates across the
country continue to skyrocket. The
ridiculous adage of “Guns don’t kill people. People do” still rears its ugly
head every time a massacre like the one in Colorado occurs or any of the
headlines above. Texas Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert went even as far as to say
“The shooting could have been limited if someone else in the Aurora, Colo.,
movie theater had been carrying a gun,” Will the madness ever end? Probably
not. We have some of the craziest mindsets from the allegedly educated all the
way down to the least educated where guns are concerned. Had someone else in
that theater had a gun, the massacre would have been even worse. Clearly no
critical thinking was going on with the Representative’s statement.
Toy Gun
The bottom line is the manufacturing and selling of toy guns
need to be banned(We must stop buying toy guns). The violent video games that give the
unrealistic illusion of killing someone need to be banned (We must stop buying
violent video games). The political strongholds of the NRA need to be broken
and all of us need to get real when it comes to guns. Lives are being lost by
people who are using guns. I am sure the
time that I spent writing this post could have been better spent (I may need this last bit of energy one day) for all of the
good that it will do, however, if those of us who blog, speak, and write do not
share our concerns, who will? Certainly the victims can no longer do it. Something to critically think and act upon.
As always I welcome your commentary in the comment section of the blog and I
invite you to follow the Critical Thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.