Too Many of Us Have Become Mental and Spiritual Garbage Trucks

It has been a little while since I posted to The Critical Thinker, however in light of this Kate Middleton mess I could not help but to write a post. Critical thinkers it has taken me a while to put this post together because I really could not decide what approach to take because there were so many different angles and approaches swirling in my head. So many things came to mind such as the notions of being star struck with celebrities, the ridiculousness of most (if not all) “reality” TV shows, how we continuously feed into and give power to the “paparazzi” by purchasing the magazines and newspapers who publish their intrusive photos to why are we so interested in bad news and what goes on in other people’s lives? All of the concepts swirled for a few days.

I even gave some serious thought in terms of what this post would be titled and because most of what I've described above in my opinion is mental and spiritual trash, I came up with the title Too Many of Us Have Become Mental and Spiritual Garbage Trucks. Now I'm sure for many of you critical thinkers reading this, the thought of being compared with a garbage truck is not a flattering thought, however, upon doing the research for this post I came across a YouTube video that is actually titled Types of “Garbage Truck” and in that video it shows various types of garbage trucks such as the Automatic Side Loader (ASL), Container Delivery (CD) and Front Loader (FL).  After viewing this clip, it dawned on me that too many of us have allowed ourselves to become mental garbage trucks. In my opinion, being star struck with celebrities, reality TV shows and the power given to the paparazzi by us fall into the category of mental garbage.  Trash is always placed into something whether it is a can, a truck, or a dump; trash is always put into something hence the simile of us being mental garbage trucks.  Why does a magazine publisher feel the need to publish photos of Kate Middleton’s breasts? Why do we care? Why are we even caught up with breasts to begin with? Yet, every day we load mental trash like this into our minds, bodies, and spirits like our sanitation workers load trash into a garbage truck. If we would stop supporting the magazines and newspapers that purchase pictures from the paparazzi, the paparazzi would cease to exist. The same holds true for the constant bombardment of bad/negative news in newspapers and on television; good/positive news would be reported if that is what we as a world truly wanted reported. Noted author Marianne Williamson says “Today's newspaper is just a reflection of yesterday's thoughts.” In other words we keep getting what we are getting because that is what we collectively think about…. bad news.  Blogger Joel Gascoigne in a recent post titled The Power of Ignoring Mainstream News hits upon this same point when he states:  

“Around 2 years ago I stopped reading and watching mainstream news. I don’t read a single newspaper, offline or online, and I don’t watch any TV at all. I recently mentioned this on Twitter and Facebook and it created a lot of discussion, so I wanted to expand on my thoughts and experiences. When I first started ignoring news, I felt that I was simply making an excuse, that if I had more time I should read the news. Today, however, it is a very deliberate choice and I feel consistently happier every single day due to ignoring the mainstream news. It just so happens that the last 2 years have also been the most enjoyable and productive of my entire life, and have contained some of my greatest achievements.”

Why are we constantly looking for something negative to read about, hear about, or say about someone else? It is beyond me why we are so determined to focus on what is going wrong in someone else's life compared with being focused on what is happening in our own lives. Maybe that's the problem. Too many of us feel the need to have someone else's life be crappier than ours in order to make us feel good about ourselves. First we fawn all over them [celebrities], “Oh I can’t believe he/she shook my hand,” “ he/she gave me an autograph,”  “ he/she took a picture with me,” or “I’ll never wash this hand again,”  and then we look to read all of the dirt (trash) about them that we can find. Newsflash!! Celebrities are human beings just like the rest of us, and yes, Kate Middleton has breasts just like any other woman and in the European countries women sunbathe topless. When is the madness going to end? Speaking of madness; this whole notion of “reality" TV (which I also consider garbage) mystifies me. Is there anyone on the planet who does not have enough reality of their own?  Yet, the website Reality TV World lists over one thousand reality TV shows in alphabetical order on its site http://www.realitytvworld.com/realitytvworld/allshows.shtml. Again, I guess we have to escape our own reality and be lost in someone else's. Ridiculous. 

There is an old saying “Garbage In – Garbage Out.” In other words what you put in is what you get out. Could that be the reason that we are constantly besieged by all of the negative things that we are constantly besieged with during our newscasts and in our newspapers? Could all of the negativity be a result or manifestation of us allowing too much garbage into our minds, bodies and spirits thereby causing this same garbage to come back out? Think about the garbage we take in on a collective basis and how much garbage that must be going out on that same collective basis. Maybe author Marianne Williamson is onto to something when she said “Today’s newspaper is just a reflection of yesterday’s thoughts.” Something to critically think about……..  As always, I welcome your response in the commentary section of this blog and feel free to follow me on Twitter @thinkcritical01. 

You'd Think They Would Get To Know The Rest Of The Story

The philosopher John Stuart Mill said that to understand an issue it is necessary to learn the arguments on both sides equally well. His statement gets to the heart of the issue that there are two sides to every story and to truly make an informed judgment requires knowledge of all points of view. I start this extremely short post with John Stuart Mill's quote to ask a critical thinking question and that question will be it for this post. Isn't it amazing how so much gossip is started with folks only knowing one side of a story? Rumors are spread; stories are told; and conversations are held with the parties knowing only one side of the story.  Something to critically think about. I welcome your commentary in the comment section of the blog and feel free to follow The Critical Thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01. 

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

When you think of child abuse, what immediately comes to your mind? For each one reading this post I am sure a different scenario or act popped into your mind. This is because there are so many different forms of child abuse that very few outside of the obvious acts of child abuse are discussed or thought about. The purpose of this Critical Thinker post is to make us aware of one form of child abuse that is rarely heard of yet is extremely common. In fact, it is so common that it flies under the radar for most of us and is in many cases unrecognized by the courts in separation or divorce cases. To the frustration of many, the fact that the court may not recognize this form of abuse does not mean that it does not exist. Psychologists and therapists term this form of abuse as Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is what Dr. Richard A. Warshak describes as a systematic process of psychological manipulation in his book Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond From a Vindictive Ex., one of two books that I found fascinating and informative about PAS with the other being Brainwashing Children: Exposing and Combating the Most Common Form of Child Abuse by John T. Steinbeck.

Both Warshak and Steinbeck unpack for the reader the definition of PAS along with the ugly and dangerous impacts of being a child or children subjected to PAS. Both also describe in great detail the roles of each person who engages and who is affected by this very common form of child abuse. According to Wikipedia the free encyclopedia Parental Alienation Syndrome is term coined by Richard A. Gardner in the early 1980s to refer to what he describes as a disorder in which a child, on an ongoing basis, belittles and insults one parent without justification, due to a combination of factors, including indoctrination by the other parent and the child's own attempts to denigrate the target parent. Gardner introduced the term in a 1985 paper, describing a cluster of symptoms he had observed during the early 1980s. According to Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children's Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, each State provides its own definitions of child abuse and neglect based on minimum standards set by Federal law. While PAS is still being debated as to whether it is a syndrome or psychological disorder, one cannot dismiss the facts after reading the major types of abuse and neglect below (see below) that the tenets of PAS intersect many of the major types defined.

According to Mr. Steinbeck in his book Brainwashing Children, children that are kept away from a parent without just cause or reason are more likely to:

• Use and abuse alcohol or drugs
• Drop out of school prior to graduation
• Get bad grades
• Be incarcerated at some time in their life
• Run away from home
• Attempt suicide
• Be diagnosed with depression
• Have anxiety disorders
• Have difficulties in their own relationships when they mature
• Struggle with friendships and interpersonal interactions
• Not trust people
• Not have a good relationship with either parent
• Not have healthy romantic relationships
• Have issues of self-doubt
• Become pregnant as teenager
• Have anger issues
• Lack of self-esteem
• Difficulties in trusting his or her own perceptions
• Lying behaviors
• Physical aggression
• Other social problems

He goes on to say that each child will react differently, but they will be affected in ways that are harmful to their emotional and behavioral development.

Sadly for the children, the parent who is initiating or engaging in PAS behavior is usually in denial that he/she has any part in the creation of an alienating environment by partaking in any of the following activities that include but are not limited to:

• Bad-Mouthing
• Bashing
• Brainwashing
• Isolating
• Instilling fear
• Encroachment
• Selective Memory

Dr. Warshak states in his book Divorce Poison that parents are not the only targets of bad-mouthing, bashing, and brainwashing. According to Dr. Warshak, grandparents, and sometimes an entire extended family, receive the same treatment. He further states that this problem cuts across gender lines. Women and men in their roles as parents, stepparents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents are all vulnerable. And, in ALL cases, the children suffer, hence the reason for this blog post – children are suffering and being abused as a result of the behavior of the adults they are supposed to trust most in their lives.

Until reading this post, you may not have been made aware of PAS (hence another reason for this blog post), however, as a result of reading this post, I encourage you to look out for the signs of PAS in children whose parents have separated or divorced. I encourage you to read Dr. Warshak’s and John T. Steinbeck’s books referenced in this post to make yourself even more aware of what too many of our children and adults for that matter are dealing with in their daily lives. I found both books to be extremely helpful to me and thought I would share them with you in this post. PAS is something to definitely critically think about. I look forward to reading your thoughts in the commentary section of the blog. You can follow the critical thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.

How Is Child Abuse and Neglect Defined in Federal Law?Federal legislation lays the groundwork for States by identifying a minimum set of acts or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), (42 U.S.C.A. §5106g), as amended by the Keeping Children and Families Safe Act of 2003, defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:

• Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or

• An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.

Most Federal and State child protection laws primarily refer to cases of harm to a child caused by parents or other caregivers; they generally do not include harm caused by other people, such as acquaintances or strangers.What Are the Major Types of Child Abuse and Neglect?Within the minimum standards set by CAPTA, each State is responsible for providing its own definitions of child abuse and neglect.¹ Most States recognize four major types of maltreatment: physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. Although any of the forms of child maltreatment may be found separately, they often occur in combination. In many States, abandonment and parental substance abuse are also defined as forms of child abuse or neglect.The examples provided below are for general informational purposes only. Not all States' definitions will include all of the examples listed below, and individual States' definitions may cover additional situations not mentioned here.Physical abuse is non-accidental physical injury (ranging from minor bruises to severe fractures or death) as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, shaking, throwing, stabbing, choking, hitting (with a hand, stick, strap, or other object), burning, or otherwise harming a child, that is inflicted by a parent, caregiver, or other person who has responsibility for the child.² Such injury is considered abuse regardless of whether the caregiver intended to hurt the child. Physical discipline, such as spanking or paddling, is not considered abuse as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child.
Neglect is the failure of a parent, guardian, or other caregiver to provide for a child's basic needs. Neglect may be:

• Physical (e.g., failure to provide necessary food or shelter, or lack of appropriate supervision)

• Medical (e.g., failure to provide necessary medical or mental health treatment)³

• Educational (e.g., failure to educate a child or attend to special education needs)

• Emotional (e.g., inattention to a child's emotional needs, failure to provide psychological care, or permitting the child to use alcohol or other drugs)

These situations do not always mean a child is neglected. Sometimes cultural values, the standards of care in the community, and poverty may be contributing factors, indicating the family is in need of information or assistance. When a family fails to use information and resources, and the child's health or safety is at risk, then child welfare intervention may be required. In addition, many States provide an exception to the definition of neglect for parents who choose not to seek medical care for their children due to religious beliefs that may prohibit medical intervention.⁴Sexual abuse includes activities by a parent or caregiver such as fondling a child's genitals, penetration, incest, rape, sodomy, indecent exposure, and exploitation through prostitution or the production of pornographic materials.
Sexual abuse is defined by CAPTA as "the employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases of caretaker or inter-familial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children."
Emotional abuse (or psychological abuse) is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child's emotional development or sense of self-worth. This may include constant criticism, threats, or rejection, as well as withholding love, support, or guidance. Emotional abuse is often difficult to prove and, therefore, child protective services may not be able to intervene without evidence of harm or mental injury to the child. Emotional abuse is almost always present when other forms are identified.
Abandonment is now defined in many States as a form of neglect. In general, a child is considered to be abandoned when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left alone in circumstances where the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.
Substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in many States.⁵ Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:

• Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance

• Manufacture of methamphetamine in the presence of a child

• Selling, distributing, or giving illegal drugs or alcohol to a child

• Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for the child

ResourcesChild Maltreatment 2006www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm06/index.htm This report summarizes child abuse statistics submitted by States to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) during 2006. It includes information about child maltreatment reports, victims, fatalities, perpetrators, services, and additional research.

Resources on the Child Welfare Information Gateway WebsiteChild Abuse and Neglect  www.childwelfare.gov/can 

Defining Child Abuse and Neglect www.childwelfare.gov/can/defining/

Laws and Policies www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/index.cfm 

Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

Reporting Child Abuse and Neglect www.childwelfare.gov/responding/reporting.cfm 

"My Name WAS Mark. I WAS Four Years Old. Can You Please Tell My Mom and Dad That I'm Dead"

Many of the posts for the Critical Thinker are sparked by observations I make as I am going about my day-to-day business as is the case for the post I am writing right now. I was driving on Saturday when I noticed a group of teenagers making yet another shrine with the letters R.I.P. written in spray paint or Sharpie Ink on the sheet with a space at the bottom reserved for the placement of candles. Unfortunately this is becoming or some may even say has become symbolic of the ghetto or hood. It’s just life and in these cases “death” in the hood. No big deal, just another one gone. Upon my return home I posted on Twitter that maybe if the person now being memorialized had L.I.P. (Lived in Peace) that we would not have the need to now be writing on a sheet R.I.P.  In a prior post titled “Bang! Bang! You’re Dead (see August 1, 2012 post) I addressed where the gun violence issue begins (another observation while out shopping at Walmart) and in this instance we see where it all ends; a young person in the grave with the rest of his/her peers hanging up a sheet or wearing a t-shirt with R.I.P. inscribed on it. I encourage you to read the Bang! Bang! You’re Dead post to put this one in perspective; I guess this could be considered a continuation, sequel or part II.

Ironically, while driving today on my way home from Barnes and Noble I heard a radio ad that was created by the Corrections Officers’ Benevolent Association, Inc. (COBA) to address the very same gun control issue that I am writing about (Click the Hyperlink within the picture to the left or the script that follows to hear the ad). The attention captivating ad begins with the singing of the very familiar Negro spiritual "This Little Light of Mine" that is interrupted by the sound of gunfire, and then a high-pitched voice says,

"My name was Mark. I was four years old. Can you please tell my mom and dad that I'm dead? Can you ask them who killed me? My friends are up here too. Can you tell the police or a correction officer and help them catch the bad guy? Please, don't let this happen to any more of my friends. We've got to stop gun violence in this city." 

After the child’svoice, we hear Norman Seabrook, president of the corrections officers union,remind us that "They're killing kids, our kids in the street and they're assaulting corrections officers every day in the jails. It's time for you to do the right thing and give these thugs up."

Since this is a radio ad, there are no visuals like in a television ad, however, if I were to use my imagination for a T.V. ad, I could see where a R.I.P sheet and candle shrine would be in the ad for four year old Mark.  The questions I have for us in this post are........ Are we ever going to get tired of seeing these sheets with R.I.P inscribed with candles burning underneath? And if we are, what are we going to do? Are we ever going to realize that it is not cute nor honorable to find oneself on either end may it be the grave or the ones hanging the sheet? Are we ever going to do anything beyond talk and write? Are our parents going to step up and be parents and teach their children about the deadly dangers of guns and keep their children away from them? Are our parents ever going to teach their children the value of life and that people do not get up again after being shot like in a video game or movie? It’s great to be able to catch the bad guy but even greater to stop the bad guy from becoming a bad guy to begin with. My head continues to shake as the kids can say SMH (Shaking My Head) as I listen to ads such as COBA’s and literally watch sheets being hung alongside fences and walls with little candles being placed under them. I agree with four year old Mark in the ad “We've got to stop gun violence in this city." As always I welcome your commentary in the comment section and you can also follow The Critical Thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.

Bang! Bang! You're Dead

 

James Holmes

While traveling on vacation, I was awakened on Friday morning, July 20th by television news reports detailing a horrific shooting that had occurred during the wee hours of that same morning in a theatre in Colorado. In fact, that story would galvanize the various news channels for the entire day and for the rest of the weekend. It was the top story on Meet the Press that Sunday morning and even for the next few days all that I could hear about was the massacre resulting from an alleged shooter who would come to be identified as James Holmes, a student in the neurosciences program at the University of Colorado.

After learning more of the details, my first reaction was that Mr. Holmes needs to be locked in a theatre while someone throws some type of gas or explosive device, and start shooting at him, but that’s not our way in the United States; like Sophia Petrillo of the Golden Girls, I digress. My purpose for writing this post is not to determine what should happen to Mr. Holmes, but it was sparked by my visit to Walmart on yesterday where I shared the aisle with a father whose toddler son was sitting in his shopping cart holding a toy gun. The toddler boy was playing with the gun that was still in the cardboard packaging and saying the words “daddy,”  “gun,” and “shoot.”  As I listened to this toddler say these words so clearly, the thought came to me that this is where it all starts. Now some of you reading this may be asking yourselves the question, “This is where what starts?” Well let’s take a look at the following headlines appearing over the last couple of days at myfoxny.com:

• 2 killed, 7 others wounded in shootings overnight•     Man shot, killed by bicyclist in Austin•           Gang member pulls loaded gun at North Side soccer game• At least 15 wounded in shootings this weekend• Former CPS basketball star fatally shot defending friend• Gas station clerk killed in robbery attempt• Young teen shot in Englewood•  Two men found shot in the head in South Deering• Five wounded, sought shelter on CTA bus during shooting at 79th and Jeffery

  After witnessing the toddler holding the toy gun in Walmart and hearing his words, it came to me that we are just not getting it. This father was buying the toy gun for the toddler who could not have been any more than two or three years of age. The toy manufacturers are still making toy guns. The stores are still selling toy guns. The gun manufacturers are still producing guns and we are still buying guns. The National Rifle Association (NRA) who says on its website that they are widely recognized today as a major political force and as America's foremost defender of Second Amendment rights is stronger than ever and the homicide rates across the country continue to skyrocket.  The ridiculous adage of “Guns don’t kill people. People do” still rears its ugly head every time a massacre like the one in Colorado occurs or any of the headlines above. Texas Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert went even as far as to say “The shooting could have been limited if someone else in the Aurora, Colo., movie theater had been carrying a gun,” Will the madness ever end? Probably not. We have some of the craziest mindsets from the allegedly educated all the way down to the least educated where guns are concerned. Had someone else in that theater had a gun, the massacre would have been even worse. Clearly no critical thinking was going on with the Representative’s statement.  

Toy Gun

The bottom line is the manufacturing and selling of toy guns need to be banned(We must stop buying toy guns).  The violent video games that give the unrealistic illusion of killing someone need to be banned (We must stop buying violent video games). The political strongholds of the NRA need to be broken and all of us need to get real when it comes to guns. Lives are being lost by people who are using guns.  I am sure the time that I spent writing this post could have been better spent (I may need this last bit of energy one day) for all of the good that it will do, however, if those of us who blog, speak, and write do not share our concerns, who will? Certainly the victims can no longer do it.  Something to critically think and act upon. As always I welcome your commentary in the comment section of the blog and I invite you to follow the Critical Thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.

Technology is a Wonderful Thing

I just learned of Technorati, who according to their site "collects, organizes and distributes the global online conversation." This is another great tool to get "The Critical Thinker" worldwide attention. Also according to their site they are the third-largest blog media property and the sixth-largest social media property. Technology is a wonderful thing. I encourage all of my blogging buddies out there to check out Technorati (technorati.com). I learned of it from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Social Media Marketing (second edition) written by Jennifer Abernethy. I found Ms. Abernethy's book to be fun, informative and filled with useful information such as the info I learned about Technorati. As always I look forward to your commentary in the comment section of The Critical Thinker. K87CYDDKWCHW

We Have Got To Get It Together

Kyle Glover  (third from left)

Once again the lifestyles of the rich and famous have shown us that catastrophe and life’s trials do not discriminate. As I was scrolling through one of my Twitter accounts I read where Usher’s eleven year old stepson Kyle Glover was pronounced “brain dead” as a result of being hit in the head by Jet Ski.  This is yet again a prime example of how quickly life can change for anyone. Money and fame does not make one exempt from anything that can and will happen in this thing we call life. What made the tragedy even more saddening was the fact that people were nastily tweeting things about Usher's ex-wife Tameka Foster and "karma." It is amazing how callous humans can be. The only thing that needed to be said or requested for the family was for prayer. While this post is not about the callousness of those tweets, it is about the need for families and friends to get it together relationship wise. Time is out for revenge, spitefulness, hard heartedness, un-forgiveness, and anything else that is getting in the way of families and friends loving each other. Think about this……. Kyle arose on Friday morning just like all of us who are reading this post did only to be rendered “brain dead” two days later. What was supposed to be a fun filled day turned to tragedy and it can happen to any of us at any time.  Too many of us are going along filled with hatred as if we are going to be here for eternity when the reality is we are only a breath away from death. Not speaking to each other……you may not get another chance to speak. Walking past each other….you may not get another chance to walk by.  Hating others…… you may not get a chance to show love or have love shown to you.  I don’t know what it is going to take for people to wake up and realize that each breath we take and each day we have are gifts.  What is it going to take for people to realize that holding grudges takes too much energy and that focusing on making others lives miserable is taking away time for them to make their own lives great. My prayers go out to Usher, Tameka and the family at such a time as this. We have got to get it together people. Love is the key.  As always I welcome your response in the comment section of the blog.