Tuesday, December 26, 2017

We Can Indeed Lose Love By Abusing Love

Posts to The Critical Thinker are based on my observations of things going on around me, my personal experiences or both hence this post.  In my line of work, I see on a daily basis children who do not receive love or at least not the love a child ought to receive based on the fact that they are children who did not ask to be created or born in the first place. None of us asked to be here (be born). At the same time, I see children who receive an abundance of love and virtually abuse it. Love is shown to them in multiple ways and the response or lack thereof from the child is worse than the child who is not receiving an adequate amount of love and affection.

I see children who are given gifts and not utter the words "Thank You" or even acknowledge that the gift was given. I see children who talk a whole lot of big talk, who do know anything about life nor can support themselves act as if they know it all and have the world by the tail when in reality they cannot perform basic life tasks. It amazes me how a young child can talk back (yell) to his/her parent(s) in a way that would lead one to believe that he/she has had the same experiences and has the same knowledge base as the parent(s) who are seeking to teach and discipline him/her in order to prepare him/her to function successfully in society when they are an adult.  I share with children all of the time that any parent who allows you as a child to do whatever you want to do does not really care about you. Any parent worth his/her salt will correct and chastise his/her child when needed in order to avoid larger problems in the future.

Child yelling back an adult
I am well aware that each generation claims that the following generations are much worse than the previous generations; however, based on the observations and experiences that I have both at work and at home, this is not just empty rhetoric. We are raising a generation of children who seem to know no bounds in terms of how they interact with adults whether it is with their parents or any other adults who make an effort to instruct them. These children actually believe that they have either come up to the adult's level or the adult has come down to theirs. I am quick to remind children that neither has occurred and that each needs to know their place. I am not saying that children do not have a voice or experience emotional challenges as well, but I am saying that there is a way to conduct one's self. A child being disrespectful to an adult is not cute or ought to be tolerated.  I've literally witnessed children hollering at the top of their lungs (as in the photo) back at a parent or an adult who is paying the bills. It's ludicrous! I've witnessed children attempt to justify and rationalize their aberrant behavior when a parent or adult is trying to show them the error of their ways. It is utterly ridiculous and certainly was not tolerated by my parents in the 60's, 70's and early 80's when I and my sister were children.  In fact, when my sister and I were in school, teachers were able to physically discipline us if need be and they were supported by the student's parents. This "Capital punishment" nonsense did not exist back then (I am fully aware of the difference between discipline and abuse).  My teachers had all kinds of methods to keep us in line. Some put us in the coat closet in the back of the room, others popped our outstretched hands with a ruler, some twisted ears, and some placed us in the corner among other things. Ironically enough, we survived and were the better for it.  Between home and school, most children learned how to respect authority and adults. Sadly, we no longer seem to be able to help children understand that when they are being disciplined that they are actually being loved as there is a difference between discipline and punishment. While the two words [discipline/punishment] are used interchangeably, the objectives are starkly different.

Many of our children and adults for that matter who is being loved and continuously abuse it are losing a lot of love and then they don't understand why it is happening. When one constantly gives his/her posterior to kiss to the one who is attempting to show him/her love, at some point the one attempting to show the love stops, this being my premise of this post. Oh yes my friends, we can indeed lose love by abusing love. So if you are reading this post, feel free to reflect and share it with others. Retweet and reshare it on all of your social media sites. Use it as a discussion starter with family, friends and other loved ones. We are going down a wrong path and in the end, we all are going to pay a heavy price. Something to critically think about.

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