Monday, July 19, 2010

Time Will Bring You In

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to serve as the organist (This Critical Thinker is also a musician) at my cousin’s former husband’s memorial service. Ironically, I was also the organist for their wedding twenty-seven years ago. Even though their marriage ultimately ended in divorce and I lost touch with Keith, I have fond memories of our times spent together and shared them during the memorial service.

As I sat at the memorial service it dawned on me that I have been to several funerals over the last two years of friends and family members who are the same or very close in age to me. People who I have played Monopoly with; gone on trips with; been in their weddings; attended church with; shared dinners with; etc. etc. What came to my mind as I sat at the memorial service was a story my mother would tell me about her baby brother when they were children. She would tell me with great laughter of how she and her brothers and friends would play church under the tree in Bolivia, North Carolina and how her brother would play the “preacher,” while his friends played the deacons and amen corner. She would say how his favorite sermon title was “Time Will Bring You In.” So as I sat there looking at the urn on Saturday which contained Keith’s ashes, I thought about how indeed time will bring you in and the fact that time is bringing every one of us in.

I was extremely proud of Keith’s two children Whitney and Chase who despite the fact that their parents were divorced thought it not robbery to give their father a ceremony to commemorate the fact that he had existed on the planet. Regardless of what was done or not done in life, they still felt the need to show their father respect even in his death.

Unlike many of The Critical Thinker submissions, this one is more personal as I am encouraging everyone who is reading these words to tell your family and friends that you love them while you still have time. Make peace; forgive; love each other and do whatever you need to do while your loved one is alive. Once we get to the memorial service or funeral, it is too late to talk about how much the person was loved or will be missed. The time is now to spend time, to let bygones be bygones and to let people know that you love them and give them an opportunity to let you know that you are loved. We must learn to be okay with life not turning out like we had planned... and instead plan to love and accept life as it turns out. Gandhi says "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Without running the risk of sharing too much information (TMI), I am constantly trying to get that message across to my own two daughters who are going to mess around and let something happen to me or other of their family members before they realize that it will be too late at the funeral. I encourage everyone along with my daughters to tell your loved ones that you love them for certainly time is bringing us all in. Something to critically think about and as always, I welcome your comments in the comment section of the blog.

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