Tuesday, December 26, 2017

We Can Indeed Lose Love By Abusing Love

Posts to The Critical Thinker are based on my observations of things going on around me, my personal experiences or both hence this post.  In my line of work, I see on a daily basis children who do not receive love or at least not the love a child ought to receive based on the fact that they are children who did not ask to be created or born in the first place. None of us asked to be here (be born). At the same time, I see children who receive an abundance of love and virtually abuse it. Love is shown to them in multiple ways and the response or lack thereof from the child is worse than the child who is not receiving an adequate amount of love and affection.

I see children who are given gifts and not utter the words "Thank You" or even acknowledge that the gift was given. I see children who talk a whole lot of big talk, who do know anything about life nor can support themselves act as if they know it all and have the world by the tail when in reality they cannot perform basic life tasks. It amazes me how a young child can talk back (yell) to his/her parent(s) in a way that would lead one to believe that he/she has had the same experiences and has the same knowledge base as the parent(s) who are seeking to teach and discipline him/her in order to prepare him/her to function successfully in society when they are an adult.  I share with children all of the time that any parent who allows you as a child to do whatever you want to do does not really care about you. Any parent worth his/her salt will correct and chastise his/her child when needed in order to avoid larger problems in the future.

Child yelling back an adult
I am well aware that each generation claims that the following generations are much worse than the previous generations; however, based on the observations and experiences that I have both at work and at home, this is not just empty rhetoric. We are raising a generation of children who seem to know no bounds in terms of how they interact with adults whether it is with their parents or any other adults who make an effort to instruct them. These children actually believe that they have either come up to the adult's level or the adult has come down to theirs. I am quick to remind children that neither has occurred and that each needs to know their place. I am not saying that children do not have a voice or experience emotional challenges as well, but I am saying that there is a way to conduct one's self. A child being disrespectful to an adult is not cute or ought to be tolerated.  I've literally witnessed children hollering at the top of their lungs (as in the photo) back at a parent or an adult who is paying the bills. It's ludicrous! I've witnessed children attempt to justify and rationalize their aberrant behavior when a parent or adult is trying to show them the error of their ways. It is utterly ridiculous and certainly was not tolerated by my parents in the 60's, 70's and early 80's when I and my sister were children.  In fact, when my sister and I were in school, teachers were able to physically discipline us if need be and they were supported by the student's parents. This "Capital punishment" nonsense did not exist back then (I am fully aware of the difference between discipline and abuse).  My teachers had all kinds of methods to keep us in line. Some put us in the coat closet in the back of the room, others popped our outstretched hands with a ruler, some twisted ears, and some placed us in the corner among other things. Ironically enough, we survived and were the better for it.  Between home and school, most children learned how to respect authority and adults. Sadly, we no longer seem to be able to help children understand that when they are being disciplined that they are actually being loved as there is a difference between discipline and punishment. While the two words [discipline/punishment] are used interchangeably, the objectives are starkly different.

Many of our children and adults for that matter who is being loved and continuously abuse it are losing a lot of love and then they don't understand why it is happening. When one constantly gives his/her posterior to kiss to the one who is attempting to show him/her love, at some point the one attempting to show the love stops, this being my premise of this post. Oh yes my friends, we can indeed lose love by abusing love. So if you are reading this post, feel free to reflect and share it with others. Retweet and reshare it on all of your social media sites. Use it as a discussion starter with family, friends and other loved ones. We are going down a wrong path and in the end, we all are going to pay a heavy price. Something to critically think about.

Monday, December 25, 2017


Merry Christmas to all reading this post. It's Christmas morning in the United States and I awoke around my usual time without the alarm clock. The house is quiet and the Christmas tree lights are on with some presents under the tree.

As I make my coffee and toast, I listen to Dave Grusin's soothing and meditative jazz version of SOME CHILDREN SEE HIM over and over again and reflect on all of my Christmases past all the way through today, Christmas 2017. I reflected on how excited I would get as a child awaiting Christmas Day. I reflected on the anticipation of the toys that I would receive on that morning; the cold that I would catch from the last Saturday of November until that magical Christmas morning when it went away right on cue. My mind saw the dinners my mother would cook and my father playing on the floor with me and my sister. It saw my father's childhood friend Ernest stopping by at 10:00 a.m. already toasty from celebrating Christmas early in the morning or perhaps never stopping from Christmas Eve.

My mind moved as if it were watching a film or traveling through a time machine. I saw the various celebrations throughout the years with family members who we laughed and shared time with who have transitioned and are no longer with us. I saw my own children's first Christmases and their response to waking up on Christmas morning and seeing all of the presents under the tree. I also remembered the Christmases following some of life's rough spots and zoomed right up until today, December 25, 2017.

As I did in my Marc Medley Show podcast Christmas episode (below), I encourage everyone to spend quality time with their family and friends today and every day for that matter as we do not know when we will be spending our last Christmas together. I remember countless friends and family members who have passed away who were at gatherings similar to the ones that we are having today.  I read a social media post that said: "Stop falling out with ya family and friends...stop holding grudges..fix the issues because when they in that ground it's too late."  The post may be grammatically incorrect but it makes a very good point. The time is out for family and friends to not be speaking to one another. The time is out for being bitter and mean towards each other. As cliche as it may sound, life really is too short.

So let there be peace on earth and let it begin with you and me. If you are reading this post, I hope you are having or had a blessed and peaceful Christmas. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Stevie Wonder Said It Best In Terms of The Trump Administration - YOU HAVEN'T DONE NOTHIN'

We are amazed but not amused
By all the things you say that you'll do
Though much concerned but not involved
With decisions that are made by you
But we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
You haven't done nothing
It's not too cool to be ridiculed
But you brought this upon yourself
The world is tired of pacifiers
We want the truth and nothing else, yeah
And we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
You haven't done nothing
Jackson 5 join along with me say doo doo wop
Hey hey hey, doo doo wop
Wow wow wow, doo doo wop
Hm hm hm, doo doo wop
Co co co, doo doo wop
Bum bum…

ENOUGH SAID. Stevie Wonder said it best. While written for the Nixon Administration, the words were prophetic for today. Something to critically think about.