People Change

Guest Post by Ayo Sekai

People Change

Seasons Change

Moods Change

Romances Change

But when love changes it breaks our hearts

And when times change we drift apart

When winter comes and rainfall

We feel helpless not knowing who to call

We get uprooted from our safety vines

And with nowhere to crawl we get sour wither and die

Things change yes

Seasons change-we know

They’ve always been that way

And we just didn’t know

Sadness comes in abundance

Success falls like rain

We just have to remember

The season for the pain

And when it’s all over

When it’s all said and done

We will sit as the dawn appears and bask once more in the sun

Because regardless of snowy weather

Freezing rain or cold

We will all remember that

The sun will and must come up

And we will all one day grow old

So let’s hold on through the changes

And maintain our soul.

January 30, 2001

Ayo Sekai is the Chief Executive Officer at Universal Write Publications, LLC and a current Doctoral (Ph.D.) student at Howard University (Black Politics and International Affairs). Universal Write Publications (UWP) has a publishing purpose to produce social, anthological, and ethnographical scholarship that dignifies the rich histories of the culturally diverse peoples who make up our society. We want to strengthen the voices of the diaspora through pioneering works that blend the creativity through which Griots tell stories with the necessity of peer-reviewed publications. Be it pieces on cultural heritage, education, the environment, visual arts, or innovators, our books are well researched and richly illustrated, appealing to general readers as well as academic researchers. 

My Father's Glory

Guest post by Ayo Sekai

When I remember my childhood with my father

the most powerful emotion that engulfs me

is how much I love him

Regardless of my pain and feelings of resentment I might feel over a lost childhood, I never could convince myself that my father never wanted me happy....

I think of the obscenities that he would use to cut through my thoughts and thought it was his way of saying never use them

I remember the emotional turmoil, being depressed and discouraged and smiled,

because I believed it was his way of saying he’s proud.

Even when he called me worthless in many ways and more, I knew in my heart that he was

saying he believed in me, but didn’t know how

In his smiles, I found such pleasure

I saw beyond his eyes

And I felt he wanted to hold me

He even did once or twice.....

But the most precious memory I hold dear

The one that means the most

Is the pride I feel as I relate that my dad and I were close

If you ever saw us, you’d never believe this day

My father and I are distanced, separated, and far away.

The one thing I wanted from my father

The one wish that I have

Is my father to give me the respect I thought I had earned

As his child and as his offspring, I don’t think I ask too much

for my father to say he’s sorry, build bridges and build trust....

My dad has grown older and so have I, the travel back is far and wide

I’m his child and he’s my father

and in my heart, he will always reside.

July 9, 1994

Ayo Sekai is the Chief Executive Officer at Universal Write Publications, LLC and a current Doctoral (Ph.D.) student at Howard University (Black Politics and International Affairs). Universal Write Publications (UWP) has a publishing purpose to produce social, anthological, and ethnographical scholarship that dignifies the rich histories of the culturally diverse peoples who make up our society. We want to strengthen the voices of the diaspora through pioneering works that blend the creativity through which Griots tell stories with the necessity of peer-reviewed publications. Be it pieces on cultural heritage, education, the environment, visual arts, or innovators, our books are well researched and richly illustrated, appealing to general readers as well as academic researchers.  

I Agree with Anne Frank, However, People Can Also Be.......

Like Anne Frank, one of my core beliefs is that people are really good at heart. However, with that said, I also observe more and more that people are really insensitive, inconsiderate and downright rude. At this writing, I am not sure if it has always been that way or if I just started recently noticing it more. It could be a combination of both along with the fact that we are exposed to so much more due to technology and social media.

For example, I cannot understand why an entire neighborhood has to be subjected to loud blaring music coming out of the backyard or car of one individual. Not only is it loud but it is played for hours on end and into the late evening hours. It is played with absolutely no regard for anyone else in the surrounding area. Everyone in the neighborhood regardless of if he/she appreciates the type of music being played or not becomes a prisoner and forced to endure the noise pollution. In some instances, the authorities have to be called in order for the volume to be lowered or the music being shut off altogether at midnight. I'm not sure if this an issue that suburbanites face, but it is common in the cities and urban areas.

Another example of some being totally inconsiderate are those who double park in the middle of the street and take their sweet time to get out of the way. Some are arrogant enough to hold conversations with people as traffic builds and if by chance you blow your horn or say something for them to get out of the way, they now get an attitude or angry. It is absolutely ridiculous.

While I'm speaking about drivers, I also notice that they have become more and more impatient on the road. Now I get it in terms of people sitting at traffic lights and not paying attention due to texting or fiddling with their phones; however, that is not everyone and the sounding of a car horn before the traffic light can even finish changing from red to green is not necessary. Drivers can barely get their foot off of the brake pedal and onto the accelerator before a horn is blowing behind them. All of this horn blowing is not necessary.

Since we just finished celebrating Independence Day, I'd be remiss not to mention the misuse of fireworks by our insensitive friends. Just last night (July 4, 2019) as I was driving home, someone threw lit firecrackers into the middle of the street into moving traffic (you could literally see the flames on the string of firecrackers, folks, some gas tanks are located underneath the car). Can you say stupid? I swerved around the lit devices. Again, for the life of me, I don't understand the fascination with hearing something go "pop" and in 2019 it is too easy to cause confusion between the sound of firecrackers popping and gunfire popping. Our more nefarious folks I'm sure have enough of a scheming sense to premeditate the sound of fireworks going off at the same time they are pulling the trigger on a gun. Needless to say that that example is of an extreme nature, but a possibility nonetheless.

At the end of the day, these are quality of life issues that really need to be addressed. If nothing else, some common sense and consideration for others ought to kick in. The problem is, they don't kick in and others have to suffer for the selfishness of I would say a few, but it is far too many than it ought to be. So let's be more mindful in terms of how our behavior impacts those around us. My examples in this post are just a few and I am sure that you can add to the list.

With all of that said, at the core, I still believe as Anne Frank believed that people really are good at heart.

You can learn more about me by visiting my website at marcamedley.com

Be Realistic

Guest Post by Art Merrill

Be realistic. That is what we are told. I think we have been thinking about that advice all wrong all this time. It is actually perfect advice. Let us be realistic for a moment. Thomas Stanley wrote a fantastic book many years ago called The Millionaire Next Door. In this book, he describes the results of several decades of studying the truly wealthy in our country. He interviewed only those who were actually net worth millionaires or better. He talked to them about their habits, their businesses. their philosophies, etc.

What he found out was that most of the people in this country who are living lives of true prosperity are not the folks you see on television. 99+% of these people are unknown outside of their local communities. They are not entertainment stars, tech entrepreneurs, politicians. Most of them own small to medium size businesses in rather mundane industries. Some own welding shops, mechanic shops, bakeries, construction companies. Most of them live in middle-class neighborhoods and drive domestic cars and pickup trucks. Most of them have been married to the same person for a long time and have lived in the same house for decades. They wouldn't be caught bragging about their wealth because they earned it gradually and understand that most of those who brag, do so because of fear that they will lose what they have. Really prosperous folks know they can replace anything that is lost because the simple skills and strategies they used to acquire their things are still with them no matter what happens.

The most common paths to prosperity in our country? Owning a small business. Owning rental real estate. Owning stocks and bonds. Think about that for a moment. Which of these is unreachable to you? Is it unrealistic for you to buy a few shares of stock? You probably already bought one house. Who says you cannot buy another for investment purposes? Heck, there are kids starting businesses today, why can't you?

I will tell you what IS unrealistic. It is completely and utterly unrealistic to think that you are uniquely disqualified from these avenues to prosperity. To think that millions of other people from similar backgrounds and with similar skills and abilities have done these things, but you cannot.
Truthfully, in today's digital world, these are only a few of the avenues available. Now, there are a whole new set of possibilities due to the internet and our connectivity. People are making money with silly videos. People are becoming wealthy playing with toys on YouTube. People with internet blogs are raking money in. All of yesterday's paths are still available and a whole new pile of opportunities are now available also.

If you think that, for some mysterious reason, you alone are destined to be left out, you are not thinking realistically. You are assigning yourself a label that does not make any sense at all. Embrace the reality that you can choose any one, or even several of these paths to prosperity. No one is stopping you but you.

Guest Blogger Art Merrill is an entrepreneur and business owner who has spent forty years reading and digesting self-help and personal finance books while owning and running several small but profitable businesses. He is the author of  Why Not You?: The Old Man's Guide to Prosperity  

THE SYSTEM IS RIGGED

For one of the few if not only times, I agree with Donald J. Trump; The system is and always has been rigged. In fact, Donald Trump can say that with confidence because he has been a part of the rigging since birth. Mr. Trump was referring to our political system when he uttered those words, however, systematically it is much larger than any political system. The system that I am referring to that is and has always been rigged is our economic system. You know, "The Haves," "Barely Haves" and "Have Nots," commonly known as the "Upper Class," "Middle Class," and "Poor."  Historically, the upper class in many cases became upper class off of the backs of others and/ or by cheating the system (rigging). This cheating of the system or profiting off of the backs of others allowed them to become even more economically well off ensuring their future generations would remain in that category. Ultimately, once sustaining wealth was attained all efforts were made to appear legal and upstanding with none being the wiser of the nefarious activities that had produced the wealth. Alas, the rigging had begun.

The rigging also included the "isms" that was mentioned in my last post; racism, sexism, classism, ableism, anti-semitism, ageism and heterosexism. The perpetuating of the "isms" facilitated the further rigging of the system. Certain groups were aided in building wealth while others were systematically and intentionally set up to do just the opposite. In fact, these groups helped to build the wealth of the very people who were keeping their boots on their necks. Yes, Mr. Trump, the system is rigged. It always has been.

Our most recent rigging that came to light is this College Admissions Scandal whereby an FBI probe alleges that a network of celebrities, business executives, and other powerful figures is at the center of a massive bribery scheme to secure admission into some of the country’s most elite colleges.  How's that for the system being rigged? Think about this scam for a minute and what it says about our educational system. For whatever reason these parents did not feel that their children had what it took to gain admission to these schools, so they felt the need to pay for their admission.  The children either knew and went along knowing that they were not qualified or they did not know and were led to believe that they were qualified when they weren't. The "Barely Haves" and the "Have Nots" do not have the opportunity to ensure that their children get accepted into a prestigious university whether they are qualified or not. Heck, many are struggling to get them in there even when they are qualified. THE SYSTEM IS RIGGED. It was rigged for 50 or more people including actresses Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman.

I overheard a young man the other day say, "It isn't illegal if you don't get caught," and I was blown away at hearing someone verbalize what I can imagine far too many people think.  I was moved enough by the statement to produce a podcast episode about it using the statement as the title of the podcast.  I guess that is what all of those Upper Class (The Haves) were thinking when they fixed (Oh they had a "Fixer" too) those SAT scores and other entrance requirements.

In the College Admissions Scam, the system was rigged against students who fell in an "ism" category who were most likely in the middle or poor classes because those who have money and lots of it decided to tilt the scales in favor of their children in order for them to continue making even more money. Yes, the system is rigged. The Admissions Scandal is just one example of how the system continues to be rigged while those who are rigging it continue to play the innocent role and deny the very opportunities that they are cheating to have from those who attempt to gain them honestly. I'm sure that there are countless other rigged schemes out there that are keeping the classes where they are.

Mr. Trump was indeed correct with his assertion of the political system being rigged. It was rigged in his favor. He was letting the world know that the system was indeed rigged because he was a part of the ones rigging it. He made it seem as if it was the media or his political opponents when in actuality it was him who was a part of the very rigging that got him elected. Come on now, how else would Donald J. Trump get elected President of the United States if the system was not rigged for him to win?

As more and more scandals come to light, America is looking sadder and sadder. One would never know that America is being made great again (if it ever was). In fact, it seems to appear that we are Making America Corrupt Again (MACA) (If it ever wasn't).

You can hear me live each Saturday from 6-9 a.m. ET as the host of The Reading Circle on gobrave.org and FM radio WP88.7 FM. I invite you to visit my website at marcamedley.com to learn more about my radio show, podcast, blog, social media sites and musical projects. The Reading Circle can also be accessed via TuneIn Radio. 

The Brilliance of The Sitcom All In The Family In 1971 And Its Relevance In 2019

 Yesterday I was watching the old 70's situation comedy (sitcom) known to us as ALL IN THE FAMILY. If you were to "Google" All In The Family, the description would read "All in the Family" is touted as the series that brought reality to prime-time TV entertainment. The lead character, Archie Bunker, is a loudmouthed, uneducated bigot who believes in every stereotype he has ever heard. His wife, Edith, is sweet but not the sharpest knife in the drawer. They and their daughter, Gloria, and her husband, Mike, all live in a working-class home. Unfortunately for Archie, he can't avoid the people he disdains: His son-in-law -- whom Archie calls "Meathead" -- is an unemployed student and of Polish descent; the Jeffersons next door are black; Edith's cousin Maude is a feminist; and, later, his partners in a local tavern are Jewish." The show was produced by Norman Lear and Bud Yorkin.

I've watched reruns of the show periodically and regardless of which episode I am watching, it never fails to get a laugh-out-loud (LOL) response from me. In my opinion, the show is funny as hell. Beyond funny, however, is the brilliance of how the reality of America at that time was symbolized through the characters of the show. The time was forty and eight years ago, in 1971. The touting of the series as the one bringing reality to prime-time television, in my opinion, is true. 

As I laugh and watch episodes of All In The Family, I also analyze the scenarios enacted and the views portrayed toward the various groups, in other words, the "isms" (racism, sexism, classism, ableism, anti-semitism, ageism and heterosexism). I say the show was brilliantly put together because Archie Bunker symbolized America during that snapshot in time and I am sad to report that we seem to be reliving that era. In fact, it almost seems that we have "Archie Bunker" leading the country. 

Now for my analysis.....When you look at the show, Archie always thought that he was the smartest or most intelligent person in the room. In his mind, he knew it all and was always right when the fact of the matter is, Archie was the least educated. But that did not matter because of who he was and who he represented. While as Edith is described above as not being the "sharpest knife in the drawer," she was sharper than Archie, however, the problem was she was a woman (sexism) and was always treated by Archie as his servant and verbal punching bag when in many scenes Edith was the smartest in the room. Archie's views on other races, classes, ages, and sexual preferences spoke for themselves and were clearly articulated throughout the scripts. Norman Lear and Bud Yorkin boldly pushed the envelope in days prior to political correctness. 

For those during that time and now who were of the mindset of the Archie Bunker character, I am sure they did then and now cheer Archie on as Archie symbolizes a time when America was considered great by them (that's why we have to "Make America Great Again-MAGA").  Many of us who fall into the category of one or more "ism's"  believe that to some degree we were able to move beyond the Archie Bunkers of the world because after all, we've had an African American President, right?   Based on everything we've seen particularly since 2016, one might argue that the Archie Bunkers of the world had just gone underground or into hiding. Maybe the Archie Bunkers just chose to remain silent for a time and have now been unleashed now that Archie seems to be in the White House (Archie Bunkers of the world unite!). 

To this day, I am sure there are many who hated the show because it placed our reality, our dirty laundry full frontal in prime-time. There are those in denial of that's who we [America] were and perhaps still is as a country and then there are those who didn't see then or now absolutely anything wrong with Archie's views, opinions and actions. Remember, Archie was the smartest person in the room, loudmouthed and uneducated, but the smartest in the room, at least in his mind, nonetheless. 

There is that old cliche or quote attributed to French writer Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr, that says "The more things change, the more they stay the same," and as I watched the two episodes yesterday where Archie was in the hospital and needed a blood transfusion and had to receive the transfusion from his African American doctor because of his [Archie's] rare blood type (AB Negative), that quote came to mind even as I laughed myself onto the floor and off of the couch. 

One of President Trump's favorite words is "sad," and the events that we are witnessing as a result of all of the "ism's" (racism, sexism, classism, ableism, anti-semitism, ageism and heterosexism) that  was satirically depicted in 1971 seems to have come back with a vengeance since the electing of Barack Hussein Obama and subsequent election of Donald J. Trump and that truly is sad. Nearly fifty years later despite all of the changes, things appear to be the same. 

My hat's off to everyone who had anything to do with ALL IN THE FAMILY as it is just as relevant in 2019 as it was in 1971. 

Please visit my website at marcamedley.com  

Humility and Confidence

 Guest post 

by 

Art Merrill

     

I think we tend to classify ourselves and others in terms of whether we are humble or confident people.  While there is some validity in these assessments in general terms, I think the truth is a bit more nuanced than that.  We all spend our lives moving back and forth on a spectrum with humility on one end and confidence on the other.

     We tend to be humble when we are new at something or striving to master a new skill or ability.  We tend to be humble when we decide to make a move and seek a better station in life for ourselves.  As we gain new skills, we naturally gain confidence in ourselves and that confidence fuels further growth.  This is also natural and good.

     However, I have noticed another pattern within this broader pattern of behavior.  It seems that our confidence eventually grows too large and it crowds out the humility that was the genesis of the learning that led to the newly found confidence in the first place.  As the confidence replaces the humility, the growth also slows or stops completely.

     While this may not seem like a bad thing when observed from a distance, I believe this is the exact moment and place where so many of us tend to plateau or settle.  Perhaps we think we have ‘topped out’ or reached our full potential.  We think we have arrived at our natural place in the world.  We look around and we see that most others who started where we started are doing about as well as we are doing and we conclude-erroneously- that we are where we belong, where we were destined to arrive.

     What I think really happens is that when we allow confidence to crowd out humility, our personal growth is hindered, and our professional growth is prematurely stunted as well.  Our path to prosperity hits a wall.  Our newfound confidence tells us that we are doing great and we get comfortable.  To me, this is tragic.  Humility is the single biggest factor in human development.  Humility opens our minds to receiving new information and new ideas.  It also allows old ideas and mindsets to be examined, questioned and discarded.  While the door of humility is open, we grow, both personally and in terms of our prosperity.  As confidence moves in, it slowly closes the door of humility and the growth is stifled.

     I think it would be wise for all of us to take another look at where we are in our lives.  Is this really where we thought we would end up?  Is this the prosperous and free life we always envisioned for ourselves? Are we living our dreams or enduring our nightmares instead?  Have we stopped making progress and settled for far less than we thought we would?

     If your life is not going as well as you had hoped it would, my advice to you is to try something else.  Dig deep and find that humility again.  Dust it off and open that door.  Decide where your dreams live and start learning about that path.  Get some books, take some classes, attend some seminars.

     If your job, your career, or your business is not providing you with the money, the freedom, and the lifestyle, you had hoped it would by this point in your life, my advice to you is to try something else.  I don’t mean to suggest that you abandon your confidence.  I simply suggest that you set it aside and give it a break for a little while so that you can absorb some new information and perhaps toss out some old stuff that is no longer working in your best interest.

     The truth is that the skill and confidence levels that got you to where you are now will not serve you as well at the next level.  Every level of personal development and prosperity require new types of thinking and new mindsets.  Each level has different rules and protocols to master.  If you have stalled, it is because you are trying to apply low-level thinking to a higher level and it will never work.

     In financial terms, the abilities it takes to earn an income of around $50,000 are woefully insufficient to earn over $100,000.  The abilities needed to earn $100,000 will not take you to $250,000 and so on.  At every level, the rules change.  The thinking has got to evolve.  The knowledge required is deeper and more nuanced.  To reach the next level, we need to embrace our humility and find out what the rules are for the next level and learn them and then implement them.  It is the only way to grow continually, and that is how we are designed.  When we stop growing, we start dying.

 Art Merrill is an entrepreneur and business owner who has spent forty plus years reading and digesting self-help and personal finance books. He lives just outside of Baton Rouge, Louisiana and has a wonderful wife, three amazing kids and a large extended 'tribe' that keeps both his house and his heart full at all times. He writes to share his experiences and knowledge with others and endeavors to help as many folks as he can because he wants others to enjoy the quality of life that he enjoys as life is too short for anything less.