Spousal Tip: Surprise Him/Her Once In A While

Judy arrived home after midnight with one thing on her mind. She peeped in on her two boys, who were sound asleep in their rooms, before she entered her own bedroom.
There, she found Marlon asleep as well. Perfect! she thought as she closed and locked the door. She slipped off her panties while keeping on her black dress. "I thought you said you were gonna call me on your way in," Marlon boomed through the darkness and startled her. "I thought you were asleep. I wanted to surprise you."  

                                                          Excerpt from ALL ACCESS by Omar Tyree

I began posting Spousal Tips on my various social media sites on a lark. To my surprise, I began receiving a lot of favorable feedback (likes, Re-tweets, comments) for the tips and anticipation for the next one. One follower even asked when was I going to write a book?  Spousal Tips are all based on my experiences in life, just plain old common sense and having a pretty good idea on how relationships work. None of the tips are new, just phrased based on my interpretation and creativity.

For example, I opened up this post with an excerpt from Omar Tyree's latest novel, ALL ACCESS to immediately grab your attention and to strategically set up a very important spousal tip that I am sure many will debate and even disagree with. Yet, if this tip were followed more often, there would be a lot more excitement, spontaneity and not knowing what to expect next in our marital relationships. In short, the old routine (a.k.a. boredom) would be interrupted.

Reflect on the excerpt above and think about what scenarios like that and beyond would do for your marriage. Sexuality, romance, and affection play large roles in a marital relationship as each partner wants to feel that he/she is desired by his/her mate. Unfortunately, when one mate or the other  begins to feel undesired by his/her mate, the door is now open for someone else to make him/her feel desired, causing all sorts of problems. These problems can be avoided if more often than not both partners would arrive home like Judy (excerpt above) with "one thing on his/her mind," his/her spouse. It's not about either partner seeing the other as a sex toy or anything of the sorts, but it is about acknowledging the desire that you have for the one you supposedly love.

We run into trouble when we start taking each other for granted or feeling as if we do not have to do once we are married what we did to attract the person before we were married. Trouble starts when one partner feels the other partner no longer desires him/her. I encourage all married couples not to let their marriage go flat. Make each other feel he/she is wanted. Keep some excitement going. Literally, want to surprise him/her. Anticipate the reaction of your spouse and how much you will enjoy yourself.

Marriage ought not be drudgery or feeling like you are fulfilling some duty. There is no rule that says marriage can't be fun. Yes, there are children, bills, work/careers, religion, etc. etc. However, none of those things listed ought to take priority over your partner. The same amount of focus and energy that is placed on all of the other things must be placed on your partner.

So, by now I hope you have figured out this Spousal Tip and you look forward to my posting others. Something to critically think about. You are invited to listen to me live each Saturday at 6:00 a.m. ET on gobrave.org and locally in northern NJ on FM radio WP88.7 FM as host of The Reading Circle with Marc Medley. You are also invited to follow me on Twitter @thinkcritical01 and @readingcircle01.