Bang! Bang! You're Dead

 

James Holmes

While traveling on vacation, I was awakened on Friday morning, July 20th by television news reports detailing a horrific shooting that had occurred during the wee hours of that same morning in a theatre in Colorado. In fact, that story would galvanize the various news channels for the entire day and for the rest of the weekend. It was the top story on Meet the Press that Sunday morning and even for the next few days all that I could hear about was the massacre resulting from an alleged shooter who would come to be identified as James Holmes, a student in the neurosciences program at the University of Colorado.

After learning more of the details, my first reaction was that Mr. Holmes needs to be locked in a theatre while someone throws some type of gas or explosive device, and start shooting at him, but that’s not our way in the United States; like Sophia Petrillo of the Golden Girls, I digress. My purpose for writing this post is not to determine what should happen to Mr. Holmes, but it was sparked by my visit to Walmart on yesterday where I shared the aisle with a father whose toddler son was sitting in his shopping cart holding a toy gun. The toddler boy was playing with the gun that was still in the cardboard packaging and saying the words “daddy,”  “gun,” and “shoot.”  As I listened to this toddler say these words so clearly, the thought came to me that this is where it all starts. Now some of you reading this may be asking yourselves the question, “This is where what starts?” Well let’s take a look at the following headlines appearing over the last couple of days at myfoxny.com:

• 2 killed, 7 others wounded in shootings overnight•     Man shot, killed by bicyclist in Austin•           Gang member pulls loaded gun at North Side soccer game• At least 15 wounded in shootings this weekend• Former CPS basketball star fatally shot defending friend• Gas station clerk killed in robbery attempt• Young teen shot in Englewood•  Two men found shot in the head in South Deering• Five wounded, sought shelter on CTA bus during shooting at 79th and Jeffery

  After witnessing the toddler holding the toy gun in Walmart and hearing his words, it came to me that we are just not getting it. This father was buying the toy gun for the toddler who could not have been any more than two or three years of age. The toy manufacturers are still making toy guns. The stores are still selling toy guns. The gun manufacturers are still producing guns and we are still buying guns. The National Rifle Association (NRA) who says on its website that they are widely recognized today as a major political force and as America's foremost defender of Second Amendment rights is stronger than ever and the homicide rates across the country continue to skyrocket.  The ridiculous adage of “Guns don’t kill people. People do” still rears its ugly head every time a massacre like the one in Colorado occurs or any of the headlines above. Texas Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert went even as far as to say “The shooting could have been limited if someone else in the Aurora, Colo., movie theater had been carrying a gun,” Will the madness ever end? Probably not. We have some of the craziest mindsets from the allegedly educated all the way down to the least educated where guns are concerned. Had someone else in that theater had a gun, the massacre would have been even worse. Clearly no critical thinking was going on with the Representative’s statement.  

Toy Gun

The bottom line is the manufacturing and selling of toy guns need to be banned(We must stop buying toy guns).  The violent video games that give the unrealistic illusion of killing someone need to be banned (We must stop buying violent video games). The political strongholds of the NRA need to be broken and all of us need to get real when it comes to guns. Lives are being lost by people who are using guns.  I am sure the time that I spent writing this post could have been better spent (I may need this last bit of energy one day) for all of the good that it will do, however, if those of us who blog, speak, and write do not share our concerns, who will? Certainly the victims can no longer do it.  Something to critically think and act upon. As always I welcome your commentary in the comment section of the blog and I invite you to follow the Critical Thinker on Twitter @thinkcritical01.

Technology is a Wonderful Thing

I just learned of Technorati, who according to their site "collects, organizes and distributes the global online conversation." This is another great tool to get "The Critical Thinker" worldwide attention. Also according to their site they are the third-largest blog media property and the sixth-largest social media property. Technology is a wonderful thing. I encourage all of my blogging buddies out there to check out Technorati (technorati.com). I learned of it from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Social Media Marketing (second edition) written by Jennifer Abernethy. I found Ms. Abernethy's book to be fun, informative and filled with useful information such as the info I learned about Technorati. As always I look forward to your commentary in the comment section of The Critical Thinker. K87CYDDKWCHW

We Have Got To Get It Together

Kyle Glover  (third from left)

Once again the lifestyles of the rich and famous have shown us that catastrophe and life’s trials do not discriminate. As I was scrolling through one of my Twitter accounts I read where Usher’s eleven year old stepson Kyle Glover was pronounced “brain dead” as a result of being hit in the head by Jet Ski.  This is yet again a prime example of how quickly life can change for anyone. Money and fame does not make one exempt from anything that can and will happen in this thing we call life. What made the tragedy even more saddening was the fact that people were nastily tweeting things about Usher's ex-wife Tameka Foster and "karma." It is amazing how callous humans can be. The only thing that needed to be said or requested for the family was for prayer. While this post is not about the callousness of those tweets, it is about the need for families and friends to get it together relationship wise. Time is out for revenge, spitefulness, hard heartedness, un-forgiveness, and anything else that is getting in the way of families and friends loving each other. Think about this……. Kyle arose on Friday morning just like all of us who are reading this post did only to be rendered “brain dead” two days later. What was supposed to be a fun filled day turned to tragedy and it can happen to any of us at any time.  Too many of us are going along filled with hatred as if we are going to be here for eternity when the reality is we are only a breath away from death. Not speaking to each other……you may not get another chance to speak. Walking past each other….you may not get another chance to walk by.  Hating others…… you may not get a chance to show love or have love shown to you.  I don’t know what it is going to take for people to wake up and realize that each breath we take and each day we have are gifts.  What is it going to take for people to realize that holding grudges takes too much energy and that focusing on making others lives miserable is taking away time for them to make their own lives great. My prayers go out to Usher, Tameka and the family at such a time as this. We have got to get it together people. Love is the key.  As always I welcome your response in the comment section of the blog. 

How Did Stuff Become More Important Than A Human Life?

It is rare nowadays that I watch or listen to the news or read the newspaper. I stopped because really the only thing that changed from day to day was the date on the top of the newspaper or the date of the newscast. The crimes and negative actions were the same. Now when I say stopped, I don’t mean completely as I do skim enough to keep current with what is going on in the world and enough to be conversational about any topic. Much of what I learn about what is happening in the world I gather from talk radio or one of the various social media forums. But this morning while I had a little time, I checked one of my news apps on my Ipad and came across a story that truly saddened me. Not because I had not heard of stories like this before, but because I had and far too often. It was the story of a man losing his life over a material possession; a car.  The story read as follows:

NEW YORK(CBSNewYork) — A school bus driver who was in a coma after being beaten by an angry motorist, died on Friday night. Juan DelValle was taken off of life support shortly after 6:00 PM. DelValle’s bus accidentally side-swiped a parked car, sending the owner into a punching and knocking rage that sent DelValle to the ground, with his head hitting the pavement. Doctors said he has permanent brain damage and his family could take him off life support later this week. A surveillance video captured the entire incident, in which the driver of the car punched DelValle and sent him flying into the pavement. DelValle was planning to retire from driving the school bus at the end of this school year. His family is waiting until after an autopsy is complete, to plan a funeral.

As I read the story, my heart went out to that family who has now lost a husband, a father, a grandfather, an uncle, cousin, friend, etc. etc. because  he accidentally side-swiped a parked car. The operative word is accidentally.  Do I understand how one could be angry because his/her vehicle was damaged? Yes I do, but to the point of getting into enough of a rage to kill someone because of it? No I don’t.  On Thanksgiving Day 2010, my truck was totaled while parked on the street by someone who was either drunk or just lost control of their vehicle and while I was not happy about the loss, I did not seek to beat anyone down much less kill the driver. My insurance company took care of it and in fact I wound up with the same model and year of the vehicle I had lost.

What can this car owner possibly say to the DelValle family? In my mind…….. nothing. There are no words or excuses to explain his behavior or the loss of Mr. DelValle’s life. Ironically, Mr. DelValle was looking to retire and most likely was on nearly his last run. I am sure he and his family had plans to enjoy his retirement, plans that are now dashed as a result of one senseless act because of a material possession. When are we going to learn that we can replace things, but we cannot replace people?  This is a sad story but what makes it even sadder is the fact that it is happening more and more frequently. Folks we can replace stuff but we cannot replace lives. Something to critically think about.  I invite your response as always in the comment section of the blog.

There Is A Difference Between Discipline And Abuse

In light of the recent news concerning Creflo Dollar and the disciplining of his daughter, I purposefully have not read the story or enquired to find out the details because without even having done that, I know that the focus is on the disciplining aspect to the point of it being confused with abuse. There is a difference between discipline and abuse and that difference has become so blurred that our children feel they have some sort of leverage over us as their parents.

Now do not get me wrong, because I know someone reading this is going to interpret incorrectly that I am advocating for abuse, when indeed I am not. Let me state that again, I am not advocating for abuse of any kind toward a child or an adult. If you are reading this and was an abused child, I say again, I am NOT advocating abuse, so please do not go there with me.   The blurring of the abuse/discipline line however is causing some serious issues. Children who are being disciplined for rebelling or just flat out being disobedient to their parents feel that they can do what they want to do and when consequences are levied they can call 911, the police, or the Division of Family and Youth Services (DYFYS). I say again, in abuse cases that warrant these types of calls, by all means they must be placed, but what I am focusing on in this post are the calls that are placed for disciplinary actions that are not extreme or fall into the category of abuse.

I do not believe in the theory that a child can never be spanked. There are times when a spanking or tapping is indeed necessary to curb future incorrect behavior. In fact, had some light tapping or spanking occurred when the child was a toddler, most of the issues that we have with them as teenagers would never have begun.  Unfortunately, too many of us think that wrong behavior as a toddler is “cute” when in fact the incorrect behavior needed to be addressed at that time. It is not cute for toddlers to be writing on walls or scarring up furniture. It is not cute for toddlers to be touching articles on coffee tables or shelves when visiting someone else’s home or breaking things in a store and a tap on the hands or bottom to discourage this behavior is not abuse. 

We give our children license early on to be disrespectful, discourteous and what we used to call “spoiled” and then when the child is older and discipline is needed, the child cries “foul” and calls the police.  As a child it was not on my radar screen to even think about calling the police or DYFYS on my parents and yes they did use the belt from time to time depending on me or my sister’s infraction. It was also dependent upon how many times we had been told not to do whatever it is that we were being disciplined for. It was never just the receipt of a spanking as a result of a first infraction or just for the sake of spanking. You can believe we had been warned on several occasions before the belt was brought out. In other words either I or my sister chose to not listen to what our parents had told us to do or not do on multiple occasions before the disciplinary action was taken.  The belt did not kill us because it was not used in an abusive manner. Some believe or think that any disciplining is abuse. I am not one who believes that.  “Time Out” does not work for me. It was rare that any of my children or me for that matter received the belt, but when we did, we knew not to do whatever it was we were being disciplined for again.  When I was talking with my mother the other night about the Creflo Dollar incident, her reaction was, based on what is happening today, in our day we would have all been put in jail and as I stated earlier my parents were not abusive.

Children know how to play two ends against the middle. They know how to play mom against dad or the police against both; our system has taught them that game.  As I said early on concerning the Dollar case, “I don’t know the facts of the case, but I do know fifteen year olds.”  They can be rebellious, they can be hardheaded, they will feel that they can do downright what they want to do because there is nothing you as a parent can do about it because if you do I will call the police or DYFYS.  I have heard stories of eight year olds running the house because the parents are afraid of a call to DYFS. I have heard stories of teenagers who let friends into the house and 3:00 a.m. or leave the house at that time and the parents don’t say anything because they are afraid of a call to DYFYS.  That is ridiculous. 

Parents cannot and must not abdicate their responsibilities because of a fear of a phone call being placed to the police or DYFYS. Nowadays parents cannot even discipline their children in a public setting such as supermarket or department store for fear of someone filming the interaction on his/her cell phone and forwarding it to the police or posting it on YouTube.  So at this point I am not defending Creflo Dollar’s actions or his daughter's, but as I said earlier, I don’t know the facts, but I do know fifteen year olds.  The bottom line is our children must begin following the directions of their parents and stop being so rebellious and blatantly disobedient. The life they save may be their own. I was a fifteen year old once and I know how it is to be that age, but the times are so different now that the things I might have wanted to do or gotten away with would not take my life compared with how easy people are losing their lives as a result of their decisions and activities today.  As always I welcome your commentary in the comment section of the post. 

Is It That Hard To Say “Thank You?”

There is a story in the Bible where Jesus heals ten lepers of a disease they had experienced for a very long time. In fact, if you suffered from the disease of leprosy, you were ostracized and exiled from the rest of the population. It was not good to be known to have leprosy in biblical times as you were truly considered an outcast who was not to be associated with in any form or fashion by anyone. Jesus now comes along and completely heals these ten of the disease (emphasis on the fact that it is the disease that made them outcasts). Now one would think that the first thing that was to come out of their mouths would have been the words “Thank You,” however, it was not to be so. In fact, the ten left the scene with only one of the ten having the presence of mind to come back and tell Jesus thank you. Jesus asked the one who did come back a rhetorical question. He asked him “Weren’t there ten of you whom I healed?” Critically think about that……one out of ten said thank you after being healed of a disease that for all intents and purposes made them the living dead. 

I fast forward to 2012 where I heard a story the other day of a young lady who desperately desired to march in her college graduation exercises and needed $3,192 to be paid to the university before it would allow her to participate in the graduation ceremonies. Because the relationship between she and her father was not that good, the young lady had someone plead to her father on her behalf  for the final payment. In spite of the relationship not being a good one, the father paid the bill in full anyway because he loved her. The father sent the daughter multiple text messages and email messages letting her know that the bill had been paid and that she would indeed be able to “walk/march” in her graduation ceremony.  Sadly, just as in the parable of the ten lepers, the father heard no response from the daughter after having paid her debt in full........... No response; Not one “Thank You.” 

Both of these stories beg the question “Is it that hard to say thank you?” I have posted to this very blog on this topic of being grateful and giving thanks before and will continue to do so because giving thanks and being grateful is that important. Research shows gratitude heightens quality of life. Two psychologists, Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, wrote an article about an experiment they conducted on gratitude and its impact on well-being.  The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. In addition, those in the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, were more likely to help others, exercised more regularly, and made greater progress toward achieving personal goals. 

Dr. Emmons who has been studying gratitude for almost ten years and is considered by many to be the world’s leading authority on gratitude and is author of the book, “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier” says that research shows that those who practice gratitude tend to be more creative, bounce back more quickly from adversity, have a stronger immune system, and have stronger social relationships than those who don’t practice gratitude. He further points out that “To say we feel grateful is not to say that everything in our lives is necessarily great. It just means we are aware of our blessings.” Meister Eckhart says it best when he says “If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”

In closing, some years ago gospel great Shirley Caesar wrote a song titled “No Charge" to address this issue of ungratefulness in this case the ungratefulness of a child.  The lyrics to the song are as follows:

My sister's little boy came in the kitchen one evening  while she was fixing supper  and he handed her a piece paper he had been writing on  and after wiping her hands on an apron  She took it in her hands and read it  and this is what it said:  For mowing the yard $5  And for making up my own bed this week $1  For going to the store $.50  And playing with little brother while you went shopping $.25  Taking out the trash $1  And for getting a good report card $5  And for raking the yard $2  Total owed $14.75 

Well she looked at him standing there and expecting  And a thousand memories flashed through her mind  So she picked up pen and turned the paper over and this is what she wrote:  For the 9 months I carried you holding you inside me - NO CHARGE  For the nights I sat up with doctored you and prayed for you - NO CHARGE  For the time and tears and the costs through the years  There is NO CHARGE 

When you add it all up the full cost of my love is NO CHARGE  For the nights filled with grey  And the worries ahead  For the advice and the knowledge  And the costs of your college  NO CHARGE  For the toys, school, and clothes  And for wiping your nose  There's NO CHARGE son 

When you add it all the full cost of my love is NO CHARGE Well you know when I think about that  I think about the day that Jesus went out to Calvary and gave his life as a ransom for me 

When I think on the words "If Any Man be in Christ He's A New Creature"  I like to think about the very minute that he shedded his blood  My debt was paid in full  And I want you to know today  when you add it all up  The full cost of Real Love is NO CHARGE

Be sure to thank God and anyone who has helped you along your journey because the truth of the matter is, they did not have to do it, but they did.  When someone has done something for you regardless of how large or how small the very least you can do is say “Thank You.”  As always, I look forward to your commentary in the comment section of The Critical Thinker. 

Not Even Fortune and Fame

The recent suicides of former NFL Football star  Junior Seau and Soul Train creator Don Cornelius is further evidence and that not even fame and fortune can exempt one from the perils of life. Those of us who are quote-unquote fans look at these people and think to ourselves how great it must be to be rich and famous and yet we see they really are no different than the poor and unknown. In reality the only difference between the rich and famous and the poor and unknown is the jobs the rich and famous do (athletes, entertainers, etc.) are seen by millions and they make millions of dollars for what they do. The poor and the unknown make enough money to survive (and most likely perform jobs that are much more critical than playing some type of ball or acting in a movie) and a limited number of people see what they do; they don't play on the worldwide stage. 

Nonetheless, we (the poor and unknown) associate being rich and famous with being problem-free when in reality as evidenced by the recent and historical suicides of our beloved "superstars" that life does not discriminate. Depression does not discriminate. Pain does not discriminate. Loneliness does not discriminate. Worry does not discriminate and we could go on. It is amazing to me how we place athletes and entertainers on pedestals as we ooooooww and ahhhhh over their lives. It mystifies me how much energy we spend reading tabloids and watching television variety shows detailing the every move of these people, when they are no different than anyone else with the exception of the money they make and number of people who see their work. 

As much as I like Jennifer Aniston, come on now, how many years can the story of her and Brad Pitt be milked? What is the fascination with these Kardashian girls? These folks are people just like anyone else. It is rare that I can open my web browser (which shall remain nameless) that the lead story is not about the deep plunge line on some female celebrity's gown.  Who cares??? Why do we care??  Yet someone must care because the same type of story keeps coming back as a lead story, so someone is reading it. 

My prayers go out to the Seau and Cornelius families as both Mr. Seau's and Mr. Cornelius' suicides spotlights for us that life truly is about more than fortune and fame. Both of these suicides gives us something to critically think about. As always, I welcome your commentary in the comment section of the blog.